I’m obsessed with this old story about two monks walking together when they come across a woman standing at the edge of a river, unable to cross.
One monk picks her up, carries her across, and sets her down on the other side.
They walk on in silence for hours until the second monk, fuming, finally can't take it anymore. "How could you carry that woman?" he says. "We're forbidden to touch women."
The first monk looks at him and says... "I put her down hours ago. You're the one still carrying her."
DANGGGGG. SICK BURN, MONK.
But really, Some of us are still carrying things we are allowed to put down.
First: identify one thing. One low-grade shame, resentment, obligation, or “should” you’ve been quietly dragging around. You know the one.
Now pick your release method. Choose whatever actually sounds like you:
1: Write it down and throw the paper away. (Dramatically if possible.) Writing is the antidote to ruminating.
2: Say it out loud in a parked car to absolutely no one. Let it be weird. That’s the point.
3: Write the letter you’ll never send. Get it all out. Then close the document and don’t reopen it.
4: Tell one trusted person out loud. Sometimes it just needs to leave your head and enter the world so you can finally stop replaying it.
WHY IT ACTUALLY MATTERS
Unresolved shame and resentments occupy your brain’s working memory like background apps draining a battery. You might not be actively thinking about them... but they’re running. Quietly. Constantly.
I like to call these suckers “open loops” and research shows they consume genuine cognitive and emotional energy whether you’re aware of them or not. Consciously closing a loop... even by simply deciding to release something... activates the prefrontal cortex and produces a measurable drop in background cortisol.
It’s not weak to let something go. Think of it like an active decision that your mental energy is too valuable to keep spending on something that isn’t serving you.
YOUR MINDSET SCRIPT
“I am allowed to put this down. I’m allowed to make room for what's next.”
Read this and pretend you believe. ;)
BONUS: JOURNAL PROMPT
What have you been holding onto?
What would actually change in your daily life if you put it down?
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"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward."
After hitting rock bottom, I've embarked on a radical journey. For one year, I'm taking a break from all cynicsm and trying out some crazy self-improvement experiments (so you don't have to.)