When I realized I might have the chance to meet Atomic Habits author James Clear, I quickly had to decide what I would say if given the moment.
Like any good prepared writer, I went ahead and wrote down some options: if the vibe was funny, how I might make him laugh, and if the vibe was sincere, how I might tell him that his writing actually did change my life.
To my surprise, I did get a chance to speak to him, and to no one's surprise, I gave neither prepared bit!
The conversation went like this: The group Q&A forum had just ended, I found myself organically standing directly in front of him.
He initiated and said, "Thank you for your question," and I, blanking on any clever quip I might have had in my pocket, said,
"Thank you for your answer." *
We took a photo together, I walked away, and I said nothing else. I jokingly told my friends, “Neither of us could speak because the chemistry was so palpable. We didn’t need words.” 😆
I joke because, let’s be honest...your girl choked.
Listening to a pro like James Clear (read: SMART. HE'S SO SMART.) talk about his writing process sent me down an imposter panic loop about my own habits book deal.
I am not smart enough to write a habits book. Who was I kidding?
But after filtering it through the following mindset hack, I managed to shift the thought to a more helpful one: I'm not supposed to write Atomic Habits. I'm meant to write the Katie Day version. I don't have to be James Clear. He’s already taken. I can just be Katie Day. That identity is available, so I’ll just go ahead and proceed with that one. 😆
*sparks FLEW 😆 (jk jk jk)
The most exhausting thing you do all day might be arguing with your own mind.
(This is week five of the Habit Quick Win Summer Series... and we're shifting gears a little. The first four weeks were all about foundations. This week, we're moving into mindset. Same format though: one micro-habit, the science, a mindset script, and a journal prompt.)
YOUR QUICK WIN THIS WEEK
When a negative thought loops this week, try adding one phrase before it: "I notice I'm having the thought that..."
"I notice I'm having the thought that I'm behind."
"I notice I'm having the thought that I'm not doing enough."
That's it. You're not arguing with the thought. You're not trying to make it go away. You're just... noticing it from a slight distance.
That gap between you and the thought is where freedom lives. But you have to try it to believe me. (I wouldn’t have believed me either.)
WHY IT ACTUALLY MATTERS
This is called cognitive defusion... the practice of observing your thoughts rather than fusing with them. It's one of the most well-researched techniques in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
When you fuse with a thought, your brain treats it like a fact. "I'm behind" becomes reality. But when you notice the thought instead of becoming it, you activate the prefrontal cortex and quiet the amygdala's threat response. You're just creating a tiny gap... which gives you a chance to choose your response.
YOUR MINDSET SCRIPT(s)
"I am not my thoughts. I am the one noticing them. That space... however small... is enough to choose differently."
Read this and pretend you believe. ;)
BONUS: JOURNAL PROMPT
What's a thought that's been on repeat for you lately? If you said "I notice I'm having the thought that..." before it, does it feel different? Less true, somehow? What might you do differently if that thought were just... a thought?
That's your Monday experiment: report back!
xoxo,
Katie Day, your habit hype girl
(write back soon)
Another fantastic Kit conference in the books. I always walk away with a brain overflowing with new information and a heart overflowing with new friendships. Grateful. Grateful. Grateful.
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"We are not our thoughts. We are not the voice in our heads. We are the ones who hear it."
After hitting rock bottom, I've embarked on a radical journey. For one year, I'm taking a break from all cynicsm and trying out some crazy self-improvement experiments (so you don't have to.)