☀️ what a waste

Have you ever read all 200 Amazon reviews for a pizza cutter?

I have!

At $8.99 you gotta be real sure before you take that kind of leap, you guys! What if it can’t cut through the pepperoni and just sort of scoots it around? I need REFERENCES, people! (With pictures preferably!)

I’m kidding. I have absolutely no idea why I spent an hour reading amazon reviews other than my brain needed a break from work and I got distracted.

The sad part is that if at the beginning of my day, a genie appeared to me and said “I’d love to grant you a gift. I will give you one entire hour today that you can spend on guilt-free play. Something you find truly refreshing and restorative.”

I would have been delighted. My mind would have pondered how to use the time. I could go for a nature walk! I could read two chapters in a novel! I could have a lunch with a friend! I could take a nap!

Instead, I read two. Hundred. Amazon. Reviews. About. A. Pizza. Cutter.

Here’s my hot take: We think we can’t take an hour of guilt-free play. That sounds ridiculous. Frivolous. Childish!

Then our brain TAKES AN HOUR ANYWAY in some cheap form at some point in our day. (For me, it usually involves my phone.)

And because we didn’t plan it ahead of time, we squander it.

Maybe you’ve heard of the concept of “deep work”: a state of peak concentration that lets you create quality work quickly.

It is a state of flow when work feels effortless.

In theory, the more we work in our zone of genius, the more our days will be in this state.

I absolutely adore “flow state”.

I wish I could bottle it up and take long drink anytime I need it on demand.

I typically experience flow when I surrender fully into creation mode: designing, writing, teaching, or performing.

But I’ve also unlocked it when I’m cleaning and “find my groove” or get going on a admin task and suddenly lose track of time and “voila, It’s done!”

Deep work feels soooo good. Like if an “attaboy” morphed into a soft blanket. You end the session with a deep sense of pride and renewed energy. “I did great work. I stayed on task. I feel good about myself.”

But what about “deep play”? A state of flow when you’re doing an activity or hobby just for the joy of it. A state that brings you immense pleasure.

I’m convinced that in order to unlock deep work, we also need to have even parts of “deep play” and “deep rest”.

There are breaks I take from work that feel truly refreshing and there are times that feel like cheap distraction. The break is sort of just “gone”. Evaporated. I can’t even really point to it. It’s a non-memory.

I don’t consider amazon review-reading “deep play”, but I wasted an hour on it.

If I could have one hour to experience guilt-free play, there are about 100 other options I would have chosen.

But I let it evaporate for two reasons.

1- I don’t remember how to play.

If you’ve been in any type of service-role for any length of time: mother, elderly-care, demanding career, etc there is a very real chance you might have forgotten what you like to do for fun.

Then if an hour does appear, chances are we have absolutely NO IDEA what to do with it.

For me, I had to sit down and make an actual list.

“What do I like to do? Is it the same things I used to like to do?

WHO AM I?”

I called it my “joy list” and I literally keep it on me so that I can refer to it when planning my day.

We have to re-teach ourselves what we truly deeply enjoy.

2. I didn’t plan ahead and prioritize it into my day in advance.

If we don’t plan an hour of guilt-free play into our day, I am convinced that OUR BODIES WILL TAKE IT ANYWAY. But usually in some type of cheaper easier to grab pizza—cutter-review-reading way.

Bonus, If we do plan it ahead of time, we are more likely to knock out our have-to’s because there’s a reward waiting. A reward we deeply, truly love.

Let’s be our own genie!

Want to experiment with me? Plan one hour of real DEEP PLAY ahead of time into this very week and report back!

I’m going to time my hour in that sweet spot between work day ending and kid pick-up. And for play, I’m choosing to take a walk outside and listen to an audiobook while I do.

Now that’s a slice of time that will put some pep-peroni in my step. (Oof.)

What about you? What’s on your joy list?

Hit reply and I’ll read them right after I research which cheese grater I want to order on amazon. (They’re around ten bucks. Free returns. High stakes.)

I’m compiling a list of 100 ways to add joy to your life. From tiny daily things to big family traditions. You replied and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Here’s what you’ve contributed so far:

meeting a trusted (safe) friend for breakfast and talking for hours together. (I did this today actually and my heart feels full)
Watching my goldfish get excited when I walk to their tank because they know they're getting fed....then feeding them and watching them eat lol
Diamond Painting
Uno with my younger monster-it's fun....my older one is too competitive to truly enjoy the game LOL
Swimming UNDER the water and letting myself just "be" in the calm and quiet under the surface :)
READING FOR FUN (current fun read- Heir of Fire, Sarah J Mass)
my FAVORITE thing that brings me joy- saying "NO" to things that I should want to do, but don't really feel like doing so I can stay home and read ;)
When I get to take my mornings slow and make coffee at home, while my coffee is brewing I like to open my mug cabinet and take out every single mug and line them up on my counter. Then I pick up each individual one and hold it in my hand to see which one feels right for the day. I love it. A lot of the mugs were handmade by my sister, some were gifts, a couple were just random misfits that I might have found at a flea market or two. But I love every one of them and I love taking the time to pick the perfect mug for the day I'm about to start.”
1:1 time with my daughters - from a NYC Trip for her 16 bday- to a target run: bring on that 1:1.
Clothing swag. Why?!! I just spent so much money to wear sweatshirts that rep my daughters hard-earned club volleyball teams - I can’t get enough. Pride ? Excitement ? Dedication. Please explain my swag obsession …
Coffee every morning in big oversized mug- not sure why- but I don’t want those little mugs no more! Why are fun mugs so joyous?
my husband and I are dating again. After just over 16 years of raising babies and toddlers and NEVER EVER making time for our marriage, we have a 16 year old now = free babysitting. I'm doing it *mostly* guilt-free.

Now I want to know, what are the things that bring you deep play? When's the last time you took a truly soul-refreshing break? Hit reply and let me know!

xoxo- Katie Day (write back soon!)

Current Read:

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. I'm one week away from my two weeks off work and I'm convinced I'm going to learn EXACTLY how to rest before it gets here. ;)

Current Growth Goal:

What if I could position my life where there is almost no difference between deep work and deep play because I am truly living in my zone of genius? Sound far-fetched? Maybe it is. Maybe not? Maybe even shooting for 50/50 would change everything.

Up Next:

Five days until my mini-sabbatical. Have you ever taken two weeks off work? What did you do? I don't want to put too much pressure on it, but I'm finding myself putting pressure on it. Isn't putting pressure on relaxing the exact wrong move? Wait...is that what this entire newsletter's content was?! Hmm.