“What do I do for pleasure? I seem to recall that I used to enjoy reading novels?”
I didn’t feel like I had permission. I didn’t know what to do with my hands.
The past two years I’ve read non-fiction for research. And nothing else.
I will say this hot take: “All or nothing” can be extremely helpful when you’re in “all” mode.
In fact, most of my productivity comes from intense bursts of hyperfixation followed by a period of complete absolute laziness.
I used to joke that by the end of the year, I was a net average productive person. (Can anyone relate? Tell me I'm not alone.)
But if you caught me in either mode, you’d likely be convinced I was the most hyperproductive human on the planet or an unmotivated hedonist.
I’ve been able to temper these extremes as I aged until recently. Writing the book was probably the longest I stayed in that productive hyperfixation mode, and even after I turned it in, I still felt like my brain couldn’t switch gears.
“I think I broke my brain”, I told friends.
So when our book club suggested a bingey pleasure summer read, but couldn’t decide on which book. Elsie had the hilarious idea of creating a punch card and rewarding all participants with a personal pan pizza, old school "Book It" style. 😆
I can’t explain why having a punchcard to “achieve” was the transition I needed from productive to pleasure. It was essentially tricking my brain into believing pleasure was productive.
Which by the way…it is.
YOU GUYS, I literally study this stuff as my career, know the evidence behind rest as an investment, and still couldn’t figure out how to switch gears into permission to coast for a bit.
So here is my reminder to me and to you:
If you do not rest, you will burn out.
If you are burned out, you cannot help anyone.
What I learned from my mistake:
Integration: I must keep an eye on “just-because pleasure” within the periods of productivity.
Procrastinating rest does not work.
Here’s the life-saving punchcard.
Five books that are also movies. (October will be so satisfying!)
I just completed the fifth book and my soul has been healed by literature. 😆
Ask yourself honestly... where have you been withholding permission from yourself? What have you been putting off until you're further along, less busy, more deserving, done with the hard thing?
"I'll read for pleasure when the project is finished."
"I'll take a real break when I've earned it."
"I'll do the thing I actually enjoy once everything else is handled."
Notice what comes up.
Step 2: The Moment.
This week, do that thing. Once. Without earning it first. Without finishing everything else first. Without apologizing for it.
Not as a reward. As a practice.
WHY IT ACTUALLY MATTERS
Chronic self-denial... the habit of perpetually deferring joy, rest, or pleasure until conditions are perfect... activates the brain's stress response and keeps cortisol elevated even during downtime. Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between "I can't relax because there's a tiger" and "I can't relax because I haven't answered all my emails."
Research on psychological flexibility shows that people who give themselves regular permission to enjoy life without justifying it report higher productivity, lower burnout rates, and stronger intrinsic motivation. You don't fill the well by pouring more out. You fill it by actually letting something back in.
YOUR MINDSET SCRIPT
"I don't have to earn rest. I don't have to finish everything first. Permission isn't something I'm given... it's something I practice giving myself."
Read this and pretend you believe. ;)
BONUS: JOURNAL PROMPT
What did you love doing before you got so busy being productive? When was the last time you did it? What would it feel like to just... do it this week? Not as a reward. Just because you're a person who deserves nice things.
That's your Monday experiment: report back!
xoxo,
Katie Day, your habit hype girl
(write back soon)
Can you spot the little punchcard acting as my trusty bookmark? And yes I did get actual gold star stickers and YES they are as delightful as grade school. 😆
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"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day... is by no means a waste of time."
After hitting rock bottom, I've embarked on a radical journey. For one year, I'm taking a break from all cynicsm and trying out some crazy self-improvement experiments (so you don't have to.)