☀️ habit hack: the “she’ll be back” rule

Ever feel like you aren’t acting like… you? Or whatever the highest-operating, most vibrant version of you is?

Instead of exclaiming! “Ugh! Why am I so “off”!? Try instead saying “She’ll be back.”

Let me explain.

If you are a woman—or you love a woman—keep reading. Because if you don’t know this information, it is life-changing. And if you learned this before, but you kinda forgot, here’s your reminder…

Two major factors can scientifically impact how you show up in the world.

One is your literal, biological hormones that ebb and flow throughout the month.

A period isn’t one week long. It’s an entire month broken into four stages: follicular, ovulation, luteal, and menstruation. Your hormones behave wildly differently in each of these phases.

For me, Ovulation Katie is my favorite. She is outgoing, talkative, her wit is fast. Ovulation has the highest levels of estrogen and testosterone. If you feel more attractive during this phase, you’re not imagining it—you actually are more attractive. Shinier hair, clearer skin.

Your body is literally trying to get laid on your behalf.

Then there’s Follicular Katie. She’s second runner-up. Full of ideas, great at starting projects and brainstorming. The follicular phase is when estrogen starts to rise again, boosting energy, creativity, and optimism.

But two phases feel slightly less “on-brand” for me.

Luteal Katie is chill. Like, real chill. She may go to the party, but she might not be the life of it. This is when progesterone, the “curl up with a blanket” hormone, is highest. But there’s a superpower here too—you’re naturally more focused and steady. This is a great time to complete projects.

And Menstruation Katie? That girl is resting. This is when estrogen and progesterone are at their lowest. I may opt out of the party completely—but I’m a genius at analysis during this time. In fact, if things seem to “bother” you more during this phase, instead of dismissing it with “I’m just on my period,” you might choose to lean in and listen to your intuition. Journal it out. Get curious. This is a great time to go inward.

Once I realized this about my hormones—and chose to embrace each of the four phases as a superpower—I started giving myself so much more grace. When I’m in luteal but I’m missing Ovulation Katie in all her karaoke-night, impromptu-dance-party glory, I just remind myself: “She’ll be back.”

What I love about that phrase is that it’s not “Be that version now!” It’s not “What’s wrong with me? I’m supposed to be more energetic!” It’s a gentle reminder that you are cyclical. That version will return.

And it’s not just hormones. We go through life cycles, too.

Times when we’re sleep-deprived and nursing a newborn. Times when work is intense but the deadline will pass. Times when we’re straight-up grieving. I remember a season when all four of my kids were extremely young, and I had to say no to three social invitations in a row. I was tempted to panic: “The social version of me is GONE!” But then I remembered, No. She’s still here. This is a season. And she’ll be back.

If there’s a version of you who paints for fun, redecorates the spare bedroom, tries her hand at creative writing—but right now, you’re grieving the loss of your grandmother—take a deep breath. Visualize that version of you fondly. Then repeat after me:

“She’ll be back.”

It’s all a cycle. It goes around. Whatever season you’re in now will shift. Whatever version of you you’re resisting will ebb. And your favorite you? She’ll be back.

Hit reply with a “YUP!” If this message landed with you.

—Katie Day

P.S. Know that your partner is a cyclical human, too—someone who also goes through seasons, stress, and hormone fluctuations. If you’re having an off day and wondering why it feels like you’re rooming with Mr. Eggshells... try extending grace there too. And remind yourself:

He’ll be back. ;)

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