☀️ quality time "hack": birthday edition

Some people train for marathons.

I train for The Birthday Gauntlet—three daughters with back-to-back birthdays, plus my own at the very end.

If you haven’t done the Enneagram, I’m a Seven—aka The Enthusiast.
In a past life, I think I was actually confetti.

Sevens love variety, joy, and squeezing every ounce of fun out of life. We’re the people saying, “This calls for a party!” even when the “this” is something normal, like finishing putting away the laundry.

So, when I ended up with three/four babies' birthdays within 20 days, common sense would whisper:

“Pace yourself. You have to do this every year. Make it manageable.”

But Enneagram Seven sense?

“Go hard. Compromise nowhere. Leave it all on the field… then repeat for three weeks straight.”

And then, just for fun, my birthday comes right after theirs. (Psst. This year, I turn forty on oct 8. 🎉)

I joke that by the time it's my turn, you’ll find me in bed, lifelessly clutching a fistful of confetti and streamers, with my tombstone reading:

“Here lies a cliché of an Enneagram Seven who enthusiasm-ed herself to death… just as we all predicted.”

But truly- I love it.
I love going all out. I love making it personal, meaningful, and FUN.
And every year, I do it all over again with zero regrets.

Our Birthday Traditions You Can Steal

These are simple, meaningful traditions that have become our family favorites:

1. Pretend it’s Christmas Morning
We start the day big. There’s fringe on the door, a trail of balloons leading to the kitchen, where gifts are waiting alongside donuts.
Why? It removes that awkward tension of, “I wonder if anyone has plans for me today…”
The birthday kid walks in and knows immediately: “This day is for me.”
We don’t let them open gifts yet—just like Christmas morning, they have to wait and wonder what’s inside.

2. The “Clues” Adventure
After sending siblings to school, the birthday kid stays home with me for a one-on-one day. Even back when I worked full-time, I would take PTO for their birthdays.

Here’s how it works:

I give them three index cards, one at a time.
Each card has a simple doodle clue for what’s next.
The three stops are usually something like a little activity, a big activity, and food.

Example this year for Callie’s last week was:

Clue 1: A drawing of snacks & a car → trip to Hy-Vee to buy any snacks she wanted for the road.
Clue 2: A Ferris wheel → Branson’s historic Ferris wheel (originally from Chicago’s Navy Pier, moved to Branson in 2016).
Clue 3: Musical notes → A Branson show.

Sometimes Jared joins us for one stop, but they know it’s mostly “a quirky mom thing.” (I do wonder how many future therapy sessions will begin with my kids saying "now keep in my mind, my mom was a little crazy...")

The "clues" tradition fills the exact hours siblings are at school—so three is usually perfect and relieves the feeling to over-plan. Just three things. Simple.

3. Dinner + Presents + Family Movie Night
That evening, we order pizza (or the birthday kid’s choice of takeout), open presents, and cap it off with a "bonus" family movie night—birthday kid picks the movie!

We save the big family party and friend hangout for another day to keep the actual birthday simple and special.

Why I Love This Tradition

With four kids, one-on-one time is rare. This gives me an entire day to focus on just one child.

Every year, I get a glimpse into who they’re becoming, and I always learn something new about their world.

It’s also a way to focus on quality time over quantity of gifts.
Plus, I can splurge a little on something fun because I’m only paying for two tickets instead of six.
Example: A $35 theater ticket feels like a huge budget item for a whole family of six, but for just the two of us? Totally doable.

If This Sounds Too Intense…

Don’t let my Enthusiast Extra energy overwhelm you. Here are ways to scale it back:

Instead of three clues, do one special activity.
Skip the all-day adventure and do a birthday breakfast before school or work or wait til the weekend
Share the planning—ask a spouse, friend, or grandparent to take one “clue stop.”
Rotate the "big-deal" birthdays between kids each year. Example "year 4, 8, 12, 16."
Google “free activities” in your area: we’ve rocked the art museum or a bike ride on years where the budget was tighter

It doesn't have to be perfect. I have been known to pivot mid-day and draw a new doodle in the restaurant bathroom when I realized something was surprise "closed on Mondays". (Oops. 😬)
But hopefully the takeaway is: “You matter. You’re worth planning for. You are deeply, wildly loved.”

Alright, your turn. What are your birthday traditions I can steal? Hit reply and i'll include them in a future Monday Motivator.

(Also it has occurred to me that traditions are also just habits: a system you set up and then repeat. I suppose celebrating...is a habit! Go figure. I am slowly realizing everything is a habit. If you care about it, make it into a system. Then just run the system.)

xoxo- Katie Day!

Currently:

Group Coaching with me on Zoom! Tomorrow, Tuesday, Sept 23 at 7pm! Inside the Habit Lab! Join the lab, then join us!

Next up:

The Podcast Returns! Did you hear? We're back! There's a new episode tomorrow Tuesday, Sept 23rd! (And every tuesday!) If you missed it, Shailey and Katie's Lemonade Stand premiered last week with Season 11! Listen Here!