☀️ the one thing: a prioritization habit hack

Our kids were trapped in a car for 13 hours on Halloween.

To make it up to them, we said they could pick out a full-size candy bar every time we stopped for gas. We never do that. They thought it was the best thing that has ever happened to them. 😆

Let me back up.

We just spent a week at the beach with 21 people. 9 adults, 12 kids, lots of different schedules, personality types, introverts and extroverts. And can I just say, I think we nailed it.

And by "we," I mean them, the leadership team: my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. They made the agenda. I was a happy little follower. They nailed it.

What worked was just enough structure and just enough freedom. Every evening had a plan: one group activity and one group meal. The rest of the day was DIY. Every family handled their own breakfast and lunch. The beach and pool were common areas, so we still saw each other during the day. It just happened naturally, without anyone scheduling it. If you wanted to read a book or go on a walk alone, great. And you could count on the evening being the time we'd all be together.

The expectations were clear, and people could be as social or as introverted as they wanted. It felt really nice to know in advance how to plan your day (and your outfits).

By the way, here's a snippet of the agenda. I plugged the agenda and the weather into Claude (and my branding kit) and had it make my kids a packing list. Isn't technology crazy?

Every day had one thing that was going to happen no matter what. Everything else could flex around it.

I realized this wasn't just helpful for a smooth beach vacation. It works as a productivity tool for prioritizing our regular work days, too.

Enter: Jay Papasan.

I met Jay at the Kit conference back in June. I took his breakout workshop and heard his keynote. He co-wrote The ONE Thing with Gary Keller, and the big idea is simple. Figure out the one thing that matters most today, then protect the time to do it.

Jay would say that your one thing needs to come first in your day. Before the emails, the pings, and everyone else's priorities.

But our beach "one thing" happened at night. And it worked. So here's my spin on it.

When your one thing involves other people, with a date and a time, it can happen anytime. The other people are the stakes. Nobody skips the group dinner. (Unless they're a monster.) Same goes for a 6pm group fitness class, an afternoon presentation you're giving live, a mid-morning coffee date with a friend, or the carpool pickup. Someone's counting on you to show up, so you do.

But when your one thing is an appointment with yourself, with a deadline that only exists to you, that's the one that needs to go first. Because nobody is waiting on it but you, and it's so easy to let it slide to "later."

This is especially true for my fellow spicy ADHD brains. Have one structured goal for the day, and then let yourself meander the rest of the way.

(I wrote about building anchors into your day a few weeks ago, if you want more on the structure side of this.)

The science-y part

Four hours, as early as possible. The ONE Thing recommends blocking off at least four hours a day for your top priority, scheduled as early in the day as you can. (Read more)

Switching tasks has a cost. When we switch from one task to another, part of our attention often stays stuck on the first one. Researcher Sophie Leroy calls this "attention residue." Doing your one thing before the pings means you start it with your full attention. (Read more)

Other people make it stick. A review of 138 studies found that tracking your progress helps you reach goals, and it helps even more when you report it to others or make it public. That's the group dinner effect. (Read more)

This week's habit hack: Protect your one thing

There's no wrong way to do this. Start by asking yourself, "What's the one thing that matters most today?" Then pick a way to protect it.

🍽️ HERE'S THE FOCUS MENU

The Textbook "One Thing"
(1 x 4 hours)
Straight from the book. Block the first four hours of your day for your "one thing". Phone away, email closed.

Katie's More Realistic Working Mom "One Thing" (2 things?)
(2 x 60 min)
The first hour of your day, before anyone else wakes up. Then the first hour of your workday, before you open your email.

Here's what that looks like for me:

5:30-6:30am (one thing = writing): Natural creative flow before any input. My entire book was written in the dark. 😆
6:30-7:30am: Kids are up! Ping mode. Getting all the kids out the door.
8-9am (one thing = creating the next module): Working on my e-course before I get distracted.
9am on: Inbox, DMs, and texts.

That's two solid hours of proactive time, knowing the rest of my day will probably be more reactive.

The Appointment
(aka the group dinner, anytime)
Put another person on it. Co-work with a friend, book a call, sign up for the class, or tell someone when it'll be done. Once someone else is in on it, it can happen whenever.

Bonus: pick tomorrow's "one thing" the night before, so you wake up already knowing.

And then hit reply and tell me how you protect your one thing. I want to hear it!

Mindset script

"My one thing goes onto the calendar first. Everything else gets to flex around it."

Bonus journal prompt

What's an appointment with yourself that you keep canceling?

xoxo, Katie Day, your habit hype girl (write back soon)

P.S. Don't miss the FREE summit this week. My part is coming up this week! It's self-paced, so you can binge the whole thing. It's SO GOOD!

21 people on the pre-Halloween "Costume Party Night", one beach, one group scheduled activity/dinner every night. Nailed it.

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