A few years ago, I threw a baby shower for a friend and absolutely went for it.
I spent the entire week working on the details. Handmade elements. Thoughtful decor. Little touches that most people probably wouldn’t even notice unless they slowed down.
The first guest walked in, looked around, and said:
“Wow. You really went all out. This is crazy. I would never do this. When I look at this room, I just think… what a waste of time.”
She did not mean to be cruel. She didn’t. She was just being honest. But my brain translated it instantly:
Details are embarrassing. Details are foolish. Details are a waste.
So for a long time, I quietly filed that away.
Don’t care too much. Don’t spend too much time. Don’t go too far. Don't be "extra".
Except! EXCEPT!
I actually love details.
When I walk into a space where someone clearly cared about the tiny things, it feels like a gift. When I learn that Lin-Manuel Miranda spent years crafting Hamilton, I don’t think “what a waste of time.” I think: "of course he did and what gift to me!"
When I walk through an art museum and realize someone spent years on a single painting, it doesn’t feel excessive, it feels like devotion.
Last week I was the keynote speaker at the Landlocked Luxury conference, an event FOR luxury event planners. Imagine the stakes! The entire event was built on details.
There were mood boards and dress codes. Letterpress invitations. Embossed materials. At one point they literally brought in different custom carpet to make the traditional hotel banquet room look like a vintage varsity football field pep rally. (!!!)
It was completely over the top.
And every single person there loved it.
No one was rolling their eyes. No one was asking why someone would spend that much time on something.
Everyone understood the assignment.
Which made me realize something important.
My mistake wasn’t the baby shower details.
My mistake was assuming that one audience member meant the details themselves were foolish.
Some people will always see detail as unnecessary.
But some people see it as art.
Some people rush.
Some people craft.
And the world actually needs both.
In fact, I'm both! Most of the time I’m the one policing my own efficiency.
My brain lights up at finding a faster way to execute something. But my brain also delights at the small touches, the thoughtful choices, the extra layer that nobody technically required… that’s not wasted time.
That’s craftsmanship.
Right now, I’m working on my book. And for the first time in my career, I’m allowed to slow down and actually craft something.
Not a rushed caption. Not a quick post. Not something squeezed between meetings.
A real piece of work that gets time and attention.
And honestly?
It feels indulgent.
In the best possible way.
So if this tension resonates, here are a few ways to give your brain permission to lean into the details this week.
1.Schedule “meandering time”
Creativity rarely moves in a straight line.
Research on the brain’s Default Mode Network shows that some of our best ideas appear when the brain is allowed to wander instead of forcing a direct solution.
Take a walk. Sketch ideas. Rearrange things. Let the brain explore.
It may look inefficient from the outside.
But it’s often where the best thinking happens.
2.Add one unnecessary detail
Craftsmanship is usually just one extra layer of obsession care.
Go ahead and try out twenty different fonts before going back to maybe that first one anyway. (me 😆) Write the handwritten note. Spend the extra 10 minutes adjusting the layout.
Indulge in the efficiency!
3.Trust that there really is an audience for this!
The goal isn’t to convince everyone to care about details. It’s to find the people who already feel delight when they notice them.
Those are your fellow detail-geek-out people.
And they’re out there. ( I just met them. 😆)
So if you’ve ever been told something you care about is “a waste of time,” consider this week's newsletter permission to creatively wander toward the finish line.
Craftsmanship is allowed.
Meandering is allowed.
Details are allowed.
And a detail-loving audience will receive it as gift.
Hit reply and tell me if you relate to feeling like you don’t have “permission” to go slow? Am I alone in this feeling?
xoxo-Katie Day
I've never seen an event space get entirely new carpet, walls, and light fixtures before. It blew my mind! (The full event team linked at the bottom!)
Current Podcast Release:
Shailey & Katie's Lemonade Stand:
Happy Home Organization & Style Series Part 2:Transform Your Living Room: Tips for a Cozy Space
In this episode, Shailey climbs up on her living room soapbox — and it’s a hill she’s willing to die on. The living room is the most used, most judged, and most confusing room in the house… and somehow we’ve all been convinced it’s supposed to look like a catalog instead of a place where people actually live. Here's are her best tips, and pitfalls to watch out for.
March: New monthly theme: Time-Management Challenge inside the Habit Lab I'm giving away my time energy audit and showing my actual google calendar!
Tomorrow, Tuesday, March 10th: Zoom Live Group Coaching inside the Habit Lab. If you've been wanting to join, but not sure when, jumping in for a live call, is a great move! Join the lab (new lower price! $9 or $79!) and jump in!
“The details are not the details. They make the design.”
— Charles Eames
Each session had a moodboard with "how to dress" inspiration which was so fun to see how everyone would "interpret". The events overall theme was old school pep rally with lots of delightful academic puns. LOVE.
Getting to be the opening speaker was such a gift! Thank you to everyone I met. You were lovely.
After hitting rock bottom, I've embarked on a radical journey. For one year, I'm taking a break from all cynicsm and trying out some crazy self-improvement experiments (so you don't have to.)